Saturday, 7 May 2011

Diet #20, The Cambridge Diet

Oh. My. G-d. Three weeks until holiday and I STILL haven't lost any real weight. I bought a new bikini this week, and the 360 degree changing room mirrors reminded me of the horror of my 'mummy tummy' from every unflattering angle! This is the bikini. This in NOT what I look like. Goddammit!! Definitely time to get back on the diet wagon.

A quick call to Liane at from The Cambridge Diet, and I've arranged to try it for a week. Similar to slimfast, this is a meal replacement system in the form of shakes and bars (and soups and mousses). The difference is that this one feels quite highly medicalised, compared with the slick 'commercial-ness' of slimfast. You meet with a local consultant, who weighs and measures you, runs through the programme and then gives you a week's worth of food. Unlike (say) weightwatchers, where the heavier you are, the more calories you start with, with Cambridge, you start with fewer. So, Step 1, 'Sole Source', can be as few as 435 calories, spread across 3 'diets' throughout the day.

As I arrive at Liane's, I meet a very slim girl on her way out. Immediately filled with great confidence that this must be a fantastic diet if I could leave looking like her, I am slightly disappointed to learn that she'd just been there to have her nails done (Liane's other source of work!). The consultation itself was a lot more medicalised than expected. I was hoping for a biscuit and a cup of tea and a nice heart-to-heart about why I was such a bloater in the first place. However, seeing as, for most of her clients, that biscuit represents virtually their entire day's calorie allowance, I was quite clearly deluding myself.

As I'm a bit lighter than their average dieter, I've skipped straight to 'Stage 4', which is based on 1200 calories a day.  This involves eating two of their products, alongside 3 small healthy meals during the day (150-300 calories each). Apparently, I can't cram all the calories into one session (which is a shame, because I'm having lunch at Gordon Ramsey's Maze on Monday), and under absolutely no circumstances must I drink this week! My 14 products cost £27, and the average client will spend £35-£45 per week.

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